We left the beach a bit sun burned and headed to the famous gay beach resort Turtle Cove. I had heard about this place from various people. It was advertised on a little gay heaven. The hotel itself was rather small but rustic. It had its own private beach, a pool, restaurant and a hot tub. The hot tub was hot and steamy but also white. We wondered what was the ratio of cum to water? I am sure a lot of action took place in the hot tub. We finished the day with a trip to Port Douglas and came back to our hotel for a bit of a dip (not Skinny) but just a pre party dip. Tonight we were going out on the town. We had to celebrate with David.

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We were waiting for a taxi outside of our hotel. The first car to stop was a police car with a very cute police man. At this point we were all drunk. David asked the cop to give us a lift to the Met Bar. He politely declined but then asked if we had seen any reckless drivers? Was this secret talk for jump in the back and blow me? The second car that pulled up was a white Holden Commodore with some guy who offered us to take it to Nu Trix, the gay club. We told him we were going to the Met bar. He was as drunk as we were. He had a beer in his hand and a fag in the other. I told him he could not kill three of us. After 3 cosmopolitans each, we were acting like sorority girls on a hen’s night…so we got in the car and hoped for the best. We made it to Met bar in once piece and with a can of beer each! Those Queenslanders!

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It was David’s 32nd birthday yesterday. The whole point of coming to Cairns was to celebrate his birthday. He wanted to escape the Sydney winter and have some “heat” for his birthday. Heat we had….we started the day at the gay beach about twenty minutes north of Cairns. We ended up getting the world’s smallest compact car. It was like a mini Mr Bean car. So the gay beach like any gay beach was hard to get to... We had to climb through bushes and the rocks to get there….only to find that the locals had gone native (nude) and they looked very similar to the guests are our hotel. We did meet a lovely guy from Melbourne who proceeded to tell us about his dungeon, rubber fetish and how he could shag anyone he wanted to as his partner had an impotence problem! TMI!

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People come to Cairns to have a good time, party and get some fun. It was around 2 am when we headed to Nu Trix…the official gay nightclub. Trix are not just for kids...although there were a lot of twinks. This place reminded me of the downstairs Midnight shift in Sydney…only with less Asian guys but with the same co-dependent soundtrack. Johnathan and I had enough…after one hour. I think we were sobering up. The birthday boy on the other hand was chatting up a local who thought he was French. It is still 11 am and he has not returned back home!

• Benelux Blacks

The Met bar, the place to be on Saturday in Cairns, has a large dance floor and a nice outdoor balcony. The guys were are very Anglo, not a lot of diversity. Most of them looked like country boys. I met a guy from Rockhampton who was looking for a third to join him and his farmer partner. He was a good kisser but I could not be bothered to drive out to the farm. Tonight was all about David. Then we bumped into our waiter from the hotel. Instead of serving drinks tonight, he was just downing them and dropping them! On my pants!! The music was great and the drinks were cheap in comparison to Sydney standards. Jonathan and David were having a good night. The tropical weather definitely gave the Met bar a good atmosphere.

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